Still Need A Halloween Costume? Look No Further.

Halloween is one of my favorite, if not my definite favorite, holidays. Weirdly it’s been kind of depressing these past two years because of been away and I usually celebrate Halloween with my best friend. Since I’m living in Boulder and she’s living in Florida (I’m gonna steal her one of these days, I swear) that’s not exactly possible. So, I basically don’t have anything to do as of yet, but you’re not here for my personal problems, you’re here for a completely random and hopefully amusing list of costumes that you, yes, you dear reader, can dress as this upcoming Halloween! Let’s do this:

A Raven:

Wander around muttering “Nevermore! Nevermore!” until you start to freak people out.

Drax, from Guardians of the Galaxy:

Go into random rooms of people and stand very still. When they ask who you are tell them they can’t see you, you’ve perfected the art of invisibility.

Thanos, from Avengers: Infinity War:

Tell people if they don’t invite you to their Halloween party you’ll snap them out of existence.

A Fancy Vampire:

Make up a backstory for yourself and try to legitimately convince strangers that you are a thousand-year-old vampire. If you have an elegant masquerade mask, an entrancing British accent, and drink mysteriously red liquid from a golden goblet you get extra points. (I have a very specific image in mind, okay!)

A Lamp:

Step one-remove lampshade from lamp. Step two-place lamp shade on head. Step three-you are one with the lamps.

A Good Idea:

Get a white T-shirt. Write “VOTE” on it in large block letters. Wear a weird hat to attract attention, fish hats are recommended though not required.

Alice in Wonderland:

So, the first thing you’ve gotta do is find a white rabbit. Then, you’ve gotta follow that dude wherever and however far he may go. If he has a pocket watch you know you’re doing it right.

Dr. Manhattan from Watchmen:

He sounds pretty complicated, right? Wrong. This is the costume for people who get invited to a party but don’t want to go. So, here’s what you do. Wear blue clothes and paint your face blue, and draw a hydrogen atom on your forehead. I recommend using eyeliner. Then, when you get to your party loudly announce that you’re done with earth and people and you’re going to mars. Then you’re out of there. Super easy.

Anxiety:

So, what you do is get a picture of me and tape it to your forehead…on second thought do not do this please do not do this.

Apfel:

That’s German for Apple. Thought you ought to know.

A Llama:

Cause why not?

The Goblet of Fire:

Go around asking people to write down their names and give them to you.

Katniss Everdeen:

Complain about the fact that you’re fighting an army of robots with a bow and arrow

Hawkeye from Avengers:

Stand on a table and do the entire “I volunteer as tribute” speech

…..sorry, sorry, switch those last two

Dish Soap:

Honestly at this point I’m just looking around the apartment for ideas. A book. Paint. Socks you should have put away a week ago. Watercolor paper. Lion King 1 ½. Your roommate. OH, that could work. It would be very creepy though. I don’t recommend impersonating your roommate without their permission….

So anyway, Happy Halloween to the people who didn’t stop reading at “Dish Soap”, I’m gonna go work on an essay and reflect upon the fact that I despise the MLA style formatting system.