We’re Moving!
By Cass Hensley
It’s happening! We are moving locations! We are still in the selection process and would love your recommendation. Below are our top three choices, with some input on the things we like and the challenges we may face. Take a look and let us know what you think!
Location One – The Death Star
As everyone knows, the Galactic Empire is all but dismantled these days, leaving this once mighty weaponized space station as nothing more than a moon-sized waste of space. The New Republic recently passed an initiative to renovate the Death Star into an attractive new office park that will hopefully attract high profile smugglers, bounty hunters, and other progressive clientele to set up offices.
“Moving to the Sphereplex could be a highly strategic choice for IDEAS due to the potential synergistic relationships that come from sharing space with innovative and progressive tenants. Not to mention that there is a great taco cantina in the East Corridor.”
– Bob Allen Chief Storytelling Officer at IDEAS
We realize that the Death Star has some dark history associated with it, but we believe in looking forward to the future rather than dwelling on the past. The biggest downside is that it doesn’t seem like they have learned from their past mistakes when it comes to architecture as there is still a thermal exhaust port that leads straight to the reactor core that powers the Sphereplex. They have a big problem with punk teenagers throwing burger wrappers and proton torpedoes down the shaft resulting in power outages and even small explosions. We felt that this would ultimately be very disruptive to our clients, which has kept it from being an ideal choice.
Location Two – Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
This charming and magical boarding school has recently begun partnering with businesses to give their students real-world experience in the workplace before graduating. IDEAS believes that this could create a magical synergy between the school and businesses to enhance what the school has to offer its students and give businesses the chance to interact with new talent to further innovation. The school has portioned off part of their grounds to allow businesses to set up shop, which we have toured several times. However, each time we find space that we like, it seems to have disappeared on the next visit. Another issue that we have encountered is that the broadband is simply atrocious due to cable companies having issues finding the school to install an infrastructure…silly muggles.
Hogwarts would easily be our top choice as a location for IDEAS; however, between the disappearing offices and the constant threats from Dementors, we have been forced to keep it on our tentative list of possible places.
On a side note, we had a few too many pints of butterbeer with the Headmaster on one of the visits and used the sorting hat. Gryffindor in case you were wondering…
Location Three – Mordor, the Land of Shadow
Better known as Sauron’s fortress, this black volcanic plain has more to offer than meets the eye. The nearby Mount Doom, has been turned into a highly effective renewable energy source for the remote area, which has attracted new businesses and industry. Given that is powered by dark energy, it is a very cost effective power source, which is a plus in our books. Another alluring detail is that the rates are crazy cheap; however, this has caused a lot of construction to spring up resulting in terrible parking and long walks to the office.
We got a strange vibe from the landlord when we went to visit the potential office space. He seemed to be very obsessive and controlling, going off topic constantly to blather about some ring. Parking is also problematic. One does not simply find good parking in Mordor. In any case, the biggest issue we have with Mordor is the constant smell of sulfur and sense of despair in the air. We believe that this would affect the morale of both our clients and our staff in a negative way.
Wherever we decide to ultimately hang our coats, we want it to be as close to ideal as possible. What do you think?